Full spoilers follow for Lanterns Episode 4, “The Weenie,” including everything you need to know about the smartest testicles in the DCU!
In this week’s episode of Lanterns, there’s a funny scene where Garret Dillahunt’s William Macon disrobes in front of his captive guests, Hal Jordan (Kyle Chandler) and John Stewart (Aaron Pierre), so that John can draw a sketch of him. Yes, a nude sketch. While Macon retrieves John’s drawing supplies for him, an uncomfortable Hal says to his partner, “I’ve seen some shit. Even been to a planet with sentient testicles. But this is weird, right?”
Yes, Hal. It is weird. But you know, it’s not as weird as a planet with sentient testicles. You’ve been Green Lanterning for too long if you don’t realize that!
It’s nothing more than a fun moment in the episode, but it also highlights a recurring approach to James Gunn’s DC Universe that Lanterns showrunner Chris Mundy and his fellow executive producers Damon Lindelof and Tom King have taken. Namely, they talk a lot about all the aliens out there, but they really don’t show much of them at all. Let’s dig in a bit on all of this.
Does DC Comics Have a Planet of, Uh, Sentient Testicles?
Well, the answer to this one is… maybe kinda sorta? While we can take Hal at his word here that the movie/TV universe features a world where living, thinking, presumably talking balls exist, the comic books don’t quite go there.
That said, there is a race called the Noc’sagians (nut-sack-ians?) who could be said to look like testicles, albeit testicles with arms and legs and faces. One member of this race is a fellow named Galius Zed, who is actually the Green Lantern of his sector (Space Sector 1123 for those who are wondering). Then there’s also Zilius Zox, another Noc’sagian and a member of the mean old Red Lantern Corps. Guy Gardner – who’s played by Nathan Fillion in the DCU – has even been known to refer to Zox as a “testicle with teeth.” But in the nicest way possible!
Then looking to what is presumably a different live-action DC universe, the late, lamented Doom Patrol, which was also an HBO show (actually HBO Max after debuting on the also late DC Universe streaming service), featured a creature that’s come to be known as the Testicle Monster. While of unknown origin, the critter nonetheless plagued the non-heroes of that show in the final episode of its third season, “Amends Patrol.” “That’s not a monster,” said Cliff Steele/Robotman. “That’s a big nut sack with demon pubes.” Cannot deny.
How Many Alien Races Have Been Revealed in Lanterns?
Well, it’s hard to answer this one, but “a lot” is probably a fair statement, since the very existence of the Green Lantern Corps implies an untold number of alien worlds exist out in space. So putting aside the bigger DCU, which includes Kryptonians – of which we know there’s at least a man, a girl, and a dog – anyone revealed in Peacemaker Season 2 or Creature Commandos, and allllll the crazy aliens seen in the Supergirl movie, there have still been a bunch mentioned on Lanterns. But again, these various alien races are often discussed and rarely seen. Among them are:
- The Guardians of the Universe (Laura Linney represent)
- Manhunters (technically robots or androids, they are sentient and also from space so…)
- Korugarans (Sinestro’s race)
- The race that Antaan (Paul Ben-Victor) and his followers are members of
- Ungarans (Abin Sur’s race)
- H’lvenites (the race that the squirrel-like Green Lantern Ch’p hails from)
- Mogo (a living planet and a Green Lantern who “doesn’t socialize” according to Hal in Episode 2 – which is also a reference to an Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons GL story)
- Bolovaxians (Green Lantern Kilowog’s race – we see a sketch of Kilowog in young John’s room)
- Sentient testicles (actual name unknown!)
I might have missed some, so yell at me in the comments and let me know.
As for why we don’t get to see many actual aliens in Lanterns, the answer is pretty obvious. This show isn’t really about that stuff. Lanterns is about the uneasy alliance between Hal and John, and the manipulation that both have suffered by their parents (in John’s case, although Episode 4 seems to hint that maybe Hal has experienced some of this as well) and the Guardians. Yes, we get to briefly see Laura Linney’s Guardian Lianna in her alien form from behind, and Sinestro is here in all his pink glory, but generally the aliens on the show take human form to go undetected by those around them.
And no doubt to save on HBO’s budget too.
Talk to Scott Collura @scottcollura.bsky.social, or listen to his Star Trek podcast, Transporter Room 3. Or do both!
